Topside, an affectionate reference to Scotland’s North Coast and Highlands. Scotland is the most beautiful country full of dramatic, calm and beautiful scenery. My photography cannot do it justice. If you have never been put it on your bucket list. Hopefully some of our experiences will inspire a visit, don’t shirk it, nor should you rely on technology because there is a lot of non ology places.
Now we like a bit of wifi, if we don’t know something we Google, if we want to go somewhere we Google and use things like OS mapping etc. We found o2 useless and EE hit and miss depending on how many people were on the campsite or wherever we were. To be fair OS mapping is available off line and a great accompaniment to the real map. Not suggesting anyone should fore go the paper (or water proof can’t fold it) versions. Adjusting to the old life of no connectivity was actually good fun especially when Denise got frustrated and stated “I give up this phone is useless”. That phone is a new top notch iPhone 5SE, not the phone I protest just a rubbish service. “Well, it’s useless” and she was right. She is sweet when she gets cross with things.

So, nothing to do but get the big map out and find the “little white roads” that lead to …. Well where ever. The “little white roads” have been a favourite for many years, on two wheels as well as four and anywhere we have travelled. Big up for Scotland, best “little white roads” we have been on. Actually some of the green roads (yes I know B roads) and the red roads (yes I know A roads) are actually “little white roads” pretending to be grown up. Just like kids wearing their parents shoes, they think they are all grown up but a closer inspection still reveals tiny little feet!

These roads have taken us to little harbours where we found Seals snoozing and birds we have never seen before.

Troubled that our twitching skills are frankly rubbish we bought a book (can’t Google!). Still struggling to identify from memory the birds we had seen we were advised by an advanced twitcher “photograph it and check it out later” – yeah we knew that….. Additionally our binoculars are clearly not up to it so at the earliest opportunity we have ordered some new ones (wifi available at the latest stop). You know Amazon Prime deliver next day and all that, no they don’t,not here it’s the day after the day after. At least pick up points are available.

Apart from four wheels we have used our two legs not as much as anticipated because I hurt my back. I was undertaking the complicated and treacherous task of turning a breakfast sausage on our rather splendid outdoor grill. I bent over to ensure the next side to be cooked was OCD approved and pop! Ouch ouch ouch. Amazing how much trouble a sausage can cause.

We took a walk from Dunnet Bay to a place called Peedie Sands. The steep climb was rewarded with a fantastic little bay and excellent views.

This seems to be a theme a little effort is constantly rewarded with little gems. One such gem was the Castle of Mey, the Queen Mothers private residence in Scotland. The Queen Mum bought the castle in a bit of a state and (with her own money) did it up. The tour around the Castle was without doubt the best tour of this type I have done (actually that’s “we” the Royal “we”) a lovely lady told us about all the fun things the Queen Mum’s Equiries got up to and how she was typically old lady stubborn, not replacing items if they aren’t broken. To this day there is a fridge in full working order from the 1950’s. Still used by Prince Charles when he visits (every year for 4 weeks). A lovely place loved by the team who look after it. The Queen Mum left it to a trust so it could be enjoyed.

There were two things I had set my heart on doing whilst “topside”, visiting Scara Brea in Orkney and completing the North Coast 500. Lucky me I got to do both.

Orkney

I was born in Dover, the Dover with the big ferry port transporting goods and people to and from Europe. Quite big ships, big lorries and lots of lights and lanes and busy. Gills Bay is the complete opposite but completely does the job just differently. Drive on drive off, nope. Drive on and stop, passengers out, go wait nicely on the deck. Drivers continue around the outside of the vessel until you are facing the right way. Let the driver to your left get out then get as close to their car as possible then off you go to watch the very skilled drivers reverse the Tesco and other artic trailers on, three abreast – amazing.

The sailing to Orkney is about an hour and the sailing times are set to suit the likes of us who want to go over see some of the Isles and come back the same day. 9:30 out 16:50 back, be there 30 mins before sailing, no jungle to go through and no controls. We meticulously planned the best day to go, good weather which really meant no wind or as calm as we could get. Denise is not a sailor and if I hadn’t mentioned it about 15 times she would have gladly given the opportunity a miss. Having convinced her it would be fine we got up on the given day to find it piddling down with rain and blowing a bit. Poor Denise she was looking very brave and getting ready to go, quietly very quietly. I rang and re booked us on for the next day, brownie points, which meant a trip to Wick and a visit to the distillery!

During this visit to Wick we had a little time to kill before the distillery tour so a little white road up to another castle was calling. We stopped so I could see if there was anything worth taking a photo of, camera in hand I stood near to another lady who was clearly a professional twitcher who was admiring some dive bombing gull things. She miss took my ooh wow as I knew what they were and engaged me in conversation where I had to admit I had no idea what I was looking at but that they were cool er impressive! Turns out said lady comes from Derby, Allestree no less. Small world. She forgave my ignorance I think.

Next day the weather was super a really steady crossing and before mid day I was standing admiring the world heritage site at Scara Brae. Scara Brae is a exceptionally well preserved prehistoric set of houses believed to be build around 3100BC. Amazing to see. A steady crossing home finished off a great day with Denise pleased I had convinced her it would be worth it.

North Coast 500

The North Coast 500 is a route around the coast of the Northern Highlands taking in the fantastic scenery. It was promoted to help the economy of the Highlands and if you fancy doing it and it is without doubt worth it do it soon because the popularity of the route is growing and all I can see it getting busy, overly busy. The roads are very challenging and not all of the road users are the full shilling. How polite. Obviously having someone who has more than a passing interest in driving skills the observations and comments on other peoples (and sometimes mine when she is feeling brave – or scared) are frequent. “Dick!” Has been frequently used which coming from Denise is very funny. On the whole we have been presented with very courteous drivers who may be local or like us doing the route.

The locals are easily identified, one minute there is no one behind you and the next there is a single occupancy vehicle behind with a driver who has this look on their face that is a mixture of please pull over and does the numpty know they need to let me by. You let them by and flash they are off gone out of sight.

The routers are also easily identified. They are driving motorhomes, motorbikes or hire cars (pretty much). We took Dorian. I have decided not to give all of the secrets of the 500 away as I know some of my friends will do this at some time. There are a couple of cheats on the route, if you don’t do the full route you will miss out on its rewards but when talking to people who say you can take Winnebagos round they are deluded. I thought seeing someone trying to take a caravan down the Stelvio pass in Italy was mental. I have re calibrated and taking anything bigger than a T5 round is utter madness.

We did the route without cheating in two days, comfort stops for JarJar and a few wow stops, it was hard work but great fun. The overnight stop in Ullapool was a nice treat. I was hoping the hotel room would have a bath so I could have a soak, never mind there will be wifi, never mind there was a cooked breakfast with no back breaking sausages! Every cloud.
Not all of the routers are driving motorhomes, we saw some pretty nice super cars, I have to admire those drivers they are brave. The potential and inevitable scratches, grounding and rattled bones makes these guys and girls super heroes, super rich or super stupid. The evidence of grounding was there to see, the puddles of tears was also there to see.

I loved those two days.

Dunnet Bay has been brilliant. The beach, the sunsets and the isolation has been just what we needed. Having seen all we wanted and keeping an eye on the weather we have moved on.

Some pictures of our time topside!

 On to Inverness. Part of the 500 route was to come back up the A9 from Inverness to Thurso. We studied the road and decided that we would cheat on our way back, poor old Dorian had to forgo his ride on Peter! A good decision on this occasion and a reality for us not to be too proud sometimes.

It’s great to be able to change our plans, let’s see what Inverness or should I call it midriff? has to offer.